Food, Inc.

Andrea and I watched Food, Inc. the other night.  We genuinely enjoyed it and learned a great deal.  Here’s a brief summary of the film:

In Food, Inc., filmmaker Robert Kenner lifts the veil on our nation's food industry, exposing the highly mechanized underbelly that has been hidden from the American consumer with the consent of our government's regulatory agencies, USDA and FDA. Our nation's food supply is now controlled by a handful of corporations that often put profit ahead of consumer health, the livelihood of the American farmer, the safety of workers and our own environment. We have bigger-breasted chickens, the perfect pork chop, herbicide-resistant soybean seeds, even tomatoes that won't go bad, but we also have new strains of E. coli—the harmful bacteria that causes illness for an estimated 73,000 Americans annually. We are riddled with widespread obesity, particularly among children, and an epidemic level of diabetes among adults.

Featuring interviews with such experts as Eric Schlosser (Fast Food Nation), Michael Pollan (The Omnivore's Dilemma, In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto) along with forward thinking social entrepreneurs like Stonyfield's Gary Hirshberg and Polyface Farms' Joel Salatin, Food, Inc. reveals surprising—and often shocking truths—about what we eat, how it's produced, who we have become as a nation and where we are going from here.

The documentary was really well done.  It was full of helpful information and insightful interviews; and I really appreciate documentaries which give a solid challenge to its viewers to do something with the information that has now been disclosed.  The only disappointing things about the film was #1) the lack of information and contribution from the major food corporations discussed in the film (unfortunately, they wanted nothing to do with it and declined all requests for interviews) and #2) at times, the topics seemed a tad bit rushed or incomplete (after all, talking about the entire food industry in 90 minutes is a seriously daunting task!)

The “free-market libertarian” in me loved the way Food, Inc. challenges us to support our local Farmer’s Market.  We did a little research and found one in Clearwater.  We plan to check it out soon.  We’re also stirred to get re-connected to a local food co-op which purchases organically grown fruits and vegetables from local farmers.

I highly recommend the film.  It’s definitely worth checking out.  Here’s the web site and here’s the introduction to Food, Inc.:

The Call to Love...

Scripture's Call to Love & Serve Others

1. Love one another in response to God’s love for us.
1 John 4:9–21.
1 John 4:9–11. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
1 John 4:21. And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

2. Love one another deeply.
1 Peter 1:22. Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart.
1 Peter 4:8. And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”

3. Genuine love is serving others.
1 Peter 4:9–10. Be hospitable to one another without grumbling. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

4. Love is absolutely essential; one is nothing without it.
1 Cor. 13:1–3.

5. Paul describes what love really is.
1 Cor. 13:4–7. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

6. To love is to be devoted to one another.
Rom. 12:9–10. Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;

7. By washing the disciples’ feet, Jesus modeled for us, showing us how we must love one another.
John 13:2–17.
John 13:14–15. “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.”

8. Jesus commands us to love others in the manner in which he loved us, to imitate him.
John 13:34. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”

9. Don’t be self-centered, but look out for others; in this imitate Jesus.
Phil. 2:3–5. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.

10. Jesus gave his all for us.
Phil. 2:6–8.

11. Do not seek honor and prestige but, like Jesus, be ready to serve others.
Matt. 20:20–28.
Matt. 20:26–28. “Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

12. Attending to the needs of others is doing it for Christ.
Matt. 25:34–40.
Matt. 25:35–36. ‘For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; ‘I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’
Matt. 25:40. “And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’”

13. Don’t become weary in doing good.
Gal. 6:9. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

14. Do good to all, especially to members of God’s family.
Gal. 6:10. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.

15. Follow the golden rule.
Matt. 7:12. “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

16. Don’t be self-centered, but please others.
Rom. 15:1–2. We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification.

17. Imitate Jesus.
Rom. 15:3. For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me.”

18. Devote yourself to doing good.
Titus 3:14. And let our people also learn to maintain good works, to meet urgent needs, that they may not be unfruitful.

19. You can find your life by doing good.
Matt. 10:39. “He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.”

20. Love your enemies and those who persecute you.
Matt. 5:43–48. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.”
Rom. 12:20–21. Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

21. As members of Christ’s body, we all need one another; each member must use his or her gifts to serve others.
1 Cor. 12:1–31.
1 Cor. 12:4–7. There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all. But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all:
1 Peter. 4:10–11. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

22. True freedom is to serve one another in love.
Gal. 5:13–15. For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!
1 Thess. 4:9–11. But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another; and indeed you do so toward all the brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more; that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you.

The Perversion of Love

Love.  A simple, four letter word expresses the most powerful human emotion.  According to the Scriptures love is wisdom and love is where we find wholeness, forgiveness, and healing – it is absolutely everything we truly want.  This is why is more than accurate to describe God as love (1 John 4:8).  Because he not only perfectly embodies these activities, but, in Christ, he never ceases to give us these love-like affections and blessings.  

Our version of love and our feeble attempts to love others pale in comparison to God’s love.  Sin has radically perverted our ability to give and receive love; so, rather than always giving, our love typically takes and hurts.    But the good news of Christ, our restoring and redeeming Savior, is that the heart and aim of the Gospel is to transform loveless, broken people who are lost to a world of perverted love (i.e., hate) into the lovers we were created to be all along.

Focusing mainly on the love to be felt within a marriage, Rob Bell does a great job deciphering between the perversions of love and the authentic love we made were made for in this older Nooma entitled Flame:

How Do You “Un-Do” a Culture of War?

Speaking to a vary mixed crowd at the Chautauqua Institution, Dr. Miroslav Volf explains how we can “un-do” a culture of war (or, how Volf puts it to the listeners, how to fix our “kick-ass culture”).  As typical with Volf, the lecture is very provocative and well worth your time.

I have not yet read Volf’s End of Memory; I plan to as soon as I can!

10 Most Influential Books I Read in 2009

Life is really busy and it’s hard to find time for a lot things, let alone reading!  But I hope you can always carved out time for some contemplative reading and thinking.  God has blessed us with a surplus of outstanding resources from Christian minds that can “stir [us] to love and good works” Hebrews 10:24.  Here are the 10 most influential book I read this past year.  I hope you check a few of them out for yourself!

Enjoy!

Why Forgiveness Fails…

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts,kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. ~ Colossians 3:12-14

How can we forgive as God has forgiven us? I don't know how to do that without embracing the message of the cross. The cross means, at the least, that #1) God so hates evil and injustice that he is willing to come suffer himself in order to end it; but #2) We are so tainted by evil as well that Jesus had to die so that we could be forgiven. Both of these truths are absolutely essential the Gospel of forgiveness and reconciliation.  Miroslav Volf puts it perfectly:

Forgiveness flounders because I exclude the enemy from the community of humans and exclude myself from the community of sinners. But no one can be in the presence of [the Cross] for long without overcoming this double exclusion....When one knows that the torturer will not eternally triumph over the victim, one is freed to rediscover the torturer's humanity and imitate God's love for that person. And when one knows that the love of God is greater than [my] sin, one is free to see oneself in the light of the justice of God and so rediscover one's own sinfulness. (Volf, The Spacious Heart)

Also,
Rob Bell recently preached a great sermon on the Lord’s Prayer and Forgives. 

 

Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace by Miroslav Volf

One of the best books I read this past year was Volf’s Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace.  It’s an incredibly stirring and convicting work on the power and prominence of forgiveness within the Christian community.  Dr. Volf argues that we’re at our human best when we give and forgive. But we live in a world in which it makes little sense to do either one.  In our increasingly graceless culture, where can we find the motivation to give?  And how do we learn to forgive when forgiving seems counterintuitive or even futile?   We must look to the God who gives abundantly and who forgives unconditionally.

Director of the Yale Center for Faith and Culture and Henry B. Wright Professor of Theology at Yale Divinity School , Miroslav Volf is one of the most respected living theologians. He is author of dozens of scholarly articles and ten books including his most recent, Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace.  As a native of war-ravaged Croatia and son of a father who endured unspeakable torture at the hands of concentration camp guards, Dr. Volf understands more than many about the horrors of indiscriminate brutality. He also understands the unforgiving heart that can often result from living through such trauma. Despite his experiences, Dr. Volf has spent decades building a theological legacy of forgiveness, generosity, reconciliation, and nonviolence.

Here’s a terrific lecture given by Volf at Calvin Seminary in January ‘07 – Free of Charge (right click, save as).  If God is fundamentally a gift giver (which he most definitely is), why, of all people, are Christians typically such lousy forgivers?  Prepare to be challenged as you listen to Dr. Volf’s lecture.

Also, here’s an interview with Volf in Calvin Seminary’s Inner Compass interview series: It’s not always easy to trace the motives for the gifts we give. Where in our hearts do they come from? Might we look there too for one of the greatest gifts--that of forgiveness for a harm done? (listen now [.mp3 12.6 Mb])

 

Giving Forgiveness - Inner Compass from Calvin College on Vimeo.

Christmas Misconception #6 Jesus was Born on December 25th

Was Jesus born on December 25^th or, for that matter, in December at all?  Well, the Bible does not specify a date or month and, although it’s not impossible, it seems very unlikely he was born on the 25^th.  A couple practical reasons for there being some problems with December (as a whole) is that it would be unusual for shepherds to be “keeping watch over their flock by night” at this cold time of year when fields were unproductive. The normal practice was to keep the flocks in the fields from Spring to Autumn. Also, winter would likely be an especially difficult time for pregnant Mary to travel the long distance from Nazareth to Bethlehem (close to 80 miles).

A more probable time would be late September, the time of the annual Feast of Tabernacles, when such travel was commonly accepted. Therefore, it is commonly believed amongst scholarship that Jesus’ birth was around the last of September. (Oh yeah, and Jesus was probably born closer to the year 6 B.C., not 0 A.D.  But that’s a whole other point.)  However, if Mary gave birth to Christ in September, one interesting thought is that the conception of Christ may very well have taken place in late December of the previous year. Regardless of the exact birth, December 25^th is as good of a date as any to celebrate the incarnation of “the Word [becoming] flesh and [dwelling] among us” (John 1:14).

When did it all start?  There are many good explanations, but one of the main reason for celebrating Christ’s birth on December 25^th was to steal the limelight from the winter solstice and its link to pagan feasts celebrating the Roman sun god and the Persian god Mithras. This transition took place in the fourth century, when Christianity became the Roman Empire’s favored religion under Emperor Constantine.  At first, the birth of Christ was celebrated on January 6^th; later it was switched to December 25^th.  For more on this read, Why December 25?

Other Christmas Misconceptions:
Christmas Misconception #1 Jesus Was Born in a Stable
Christmas Misconception #2 The Innkeeper Turned Mary & Joseph Away
Christmas Misconception #3 “No Crying He Makes”
Christmas Misconception #4 Mary, Urgently Needing to Deliver Her Baby, Rides into Bethlehem on a Donkey
Christmas Misconception #5 Three Kings, riding on Camels, Come to See the Baby Jesus

Christmas Misconception #5 Three Kings, riding on Camels, Came to See the Baby Jesus

Did three kings riding camels come to Jesus’ birth?  The Bible does not say that any kings or camels visited baby Jesus.  It does report wise men (“magi”) came, but it does not say how many.  According to The ESV Study Bible, “wise men” (Gk. magoi, plural of magos) referred to priests and experts in mysteries in Persia and Babylon (cf. Septuagint of Dan. 1:20; 2:2, 10, 27; etc.), but by this time it applied to a wide range of people whose practices included astrology, dream interpretation, study of sacred writings, the pursuit of wisdom, and magic.  None of the early Church Fathers, suggested the magi were kings.

Since the word “magi” used in the Bible is plural, there were apparently at least two, and there could have been more—even several more. The Bible simply mentions three costly gifts they presented—gold, frankincense and myrrh, but this does not necessarily indicate the number of magi. There is also no proof of what country these men came from, though Matthew does report that they were from “the east” (Matthew 2:1)

Also, the wise men clearly did not visit Jesus when he was still lying in the manger, as is commonly shown on greeting cards, living nativities and in Christmas plays. The magi did not arrive until sometime after Christ’s presentation in the Temple in Jerusalem (Luke 2:21-39). At this time, Scripture calls Jesus a “child,” not a “baby.” It is possible that little Jesus was walking and talking by then. Based on the calculations of King Herod and the magi (Matthew 2:16), Jesus could been two years old or under.

Other Christmas Misconceptions:
Christmas Misconception #1 Jesus Was Born in a Stable
Christmas Misconception #2 The Innkeeper Turned Mary & Joseph Away
Christmas Misconception #3 “No Crying He Makes”
Christmas Misconception #4 Mary, Urgently Needing to Deliver Her Baby, Rides into Bethlehem on a Donkey

Christmas Misconception #4 - Mary, urgently needing to deliver her baby, rides into Bethlehem on a donkey

Did Mary ride a donkey to Bethlehem?
Almost every Christmas play or “living nativity” has Mary (the very pregnant Mary) riding on a donkey to Bethlehem.  Did she ride in on a donkey?  Perhaps, but there are various other more likely possibilities. (I mean seriously, how many pregnant women would be willing to make the 80 mile journey from Galilee to Bethlehem on a Donkey?  I find it unlikely; but…considering the times and the location, it was very normal to have a donkey carrying your belongings on the trip.  Perhaps Joseph plopped his pregnant up there too!  Who knows?)

Well, the truth of the matter is the Bible doesn’t say how she got to Bethlehem. Scripture gives very little detail on Mary & Joseph's actual trip to Bethlehem; it only says that she came with Joseph.

Did Mary arrive in Bethlehem the night she gave birth?
Again, this is highly unlikely and the Bible does not suggest this. They could have arrived weeks earlier. God’s Word simply states, “while they were there [in Bethlehem], the days were accomplished that she should be delivered” (Luke 2:6). Arriving in town well before her due date would make much more sense.

Other Christmas Misconceptions:
Christmas Misconception #1 Jesus Was Born in a Stable
Christmas Misconception #2 The Innkeeper Turned Mary & Joseph Away
Christmas Misconception #3 “No Crying He Makes”

Goldsworthy Lectures – worth listening to…

Graeme Goldsworthy delivered the following lectures at Southern Seminary on the role and importance of Biblical Theology.  (Know one has helped me better understand the Redemptive Historical Narrative more than Goldsworthy; listen to him, better yet, read him…good stuff indeed!)

The Necessity and Viability of Biblical Theology (MP3) (PDF)

Biblical Theology in the Seminary and Bible College (MP3) (PDF)

Biblical Theology and Its Pastoral Application (MP3) (PDF)

Christmas Misconception #3 - “No Crying He Makes”

Sorry to be the one to inform you, but the second verse of Away in a Manger is a crock.

…The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes, but little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes…

The song implies that as the cows where bowing in reverence to the baby Jesus he didn’t fuss or cry. Now, I’m all for some creativity and pondering what some of the details concerning Christ’s birth might have been like, but an extremely important aspect of the Gospel is that God the Son took on flesh (John 1:14). He became one of us in order to redeem us!  The doctrine of the incarnation of Christ is one the most amazing events in all of history: “the eternal, omnipotent, omnipresent, infinitely holy Son of God took on a human nature and lived among humanity as one who was both God and man at the same time, in one person” (ESV Study Bible – John 1:14). Christ was fully human and this humanity began when he was conceived.

This means the little Lord Jesus acted like an infant. He needed to be swaddled and fed.  He fussed. He spit up. Yes, he peed and pooped in his diapers. We have no reason to believe that Jesus was some idyllic, super-baby of tranquility. If he was human like the rest of us, He cried like a baby – a sure sign of a healthy (breathing) newborn!

Christmas Misconception #2 – The Innkeeper Turned Joseph and Mary Away

Did Joseph or Mary talk to any innkeepers? Perhaps they did as they passed a hotel on their way to Joseph’s family house; but there is no solid, biblical reason to believe that they did. Although innkeepers play a prominent part in many Christmas plays and songs, no innkeeper is ever mentioned  in the biblical record of Christ’s birth. None. Furthermore, it is likely that Mary and Joseph actually stayed in a house with relatives, not in a stable behind Bethlehem Holiday Inn!  See Christmas Misconception #1.

Christmas Misconception #1 – Jesus was Born in a Stable

Christmas. It’s all about the good times right?  Friends, family, candlelight church services, stockings, eggnog, mistletoe, Christmas lights, and rampant misinformation. Christmas definitely takes the lead in “the holiday with the most folktales and urban legends” category.  In fact much of our Christmas nativity story is filled with outright unbiblical ideas!

The typical story we hear repeated is:
“On the evening of December 25th, about 2000 years ago, Mary, who is urgently needing to deliver her baby, rides into Bethlehem on a donkey. Although it’s an emergency, all the innkeepers turn them away. So she delivers baby Jesus in an outside stable. Then angels sing to the shepherds. Afterwards, the shepherds join up with three kings on camels, find the baby Jesus and worship the quiet newborn.”

What’s the problem?  Well, this story might be almost entirely wrong. The events surrounding the birth have been retold so many times and in songs, in plays, books, and movies that most people have a distorted view of the true Nativity events. The only accurate record is found in the Bible, so we’ll be comparing the rampant Christmas misconception with the Scriptures. 

Christmas Myth #1 Jesus was Born in a Stable
Was Jesus born in a stable or in a born? The Bible does not mention either of these places in connection with Christ’s birth, only a manger. Scripture simply reports that they laid Jesus in a manger because there was no room for him in the guest room (Luke 2:7). The Greek word used in Scripture is kataluma, and can mean guest chamber, lodging place or inn. The only other time this word was used in the New Testament, it means a furnished, large, upper story room within a private house. It’s translated guest chamber, not inn (Mark 14:14-15).  There was a word for an inn (i.e. hotel) used in that day – pandocheion.  Luke uses that word in Jesus' parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:34, so he definitely didn’t mean that there was no room in the local Holiday Inn!

According to Bible archaeology experts, Jesus was probably born in the house of relatives on the bottom floor, underneath the normal living and guest quarters.  This is because all of Joseph's family, perhaps with their wives and children, would have been in the same house due the census Caesar had issued (Luke 2:1-3).  Your typical home during the time of Jesus’ birth was two-stories.  The first level was kind of like a garage, and yes, it would be normal to have a few of your prized animals kept in there.  The second floor would have been the living quarters - “the inn.”  In order to give Joseph and his very pregnant wife some privacy, everyone probably decided to let Joseph and Mary stay in the first level.  It was definitely a bit rough, but not a stable. 

Sorry.  Does this mean we have to throw out our cheesy little Nativity scenes?  For more about this Christmas misconception see Bible Study Magazine’s  Away in a Manger, But Not a Barn.

Other Christmas Misconceptions:
Christmas Misconception #2 The Innkeeper Turned Mary & Joseph Away
Christmas Misconception #3 “No Crying He Makes”
Christmas Misconception #4 Mary, Urgently Needing to Deliver Her Baby, Rides into Bethlehem on a Donkey
Christmas Misconception #5 Three Kings, Riding on Donkeys, Come to See the Baby Jesus

Two Idols of Singleness

Can being single ever be a good thing? Of course it can. Singleness has wonderful advantages. You have a lot more freedom and time to work for the advancement of the Kingdom in more ways than a married person can. In 1st Corinthians 7:8 Paul actually says that he wished people were like him – celibate, i.e. gifted and called to be single: “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” Also, Jesus was single. The one who was truly human and truly happy and truly devoted to the Kingdom of God was called to be single. That’s a very interested point to ponder.

How do you know if you have the gift of singleness? It doesn’t mean that you never struggle with desire for relationship or sexually lust; but it does mean that you are knocked down by these occasional desires. More or less, you can deal with it, move on, and they’re not things that rule over you. The opposite of being called to singleness would be 1 Corinthians 7:9 which reads: “But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” So let’s face it. Most singles are not called to singleness (to be celibate); but, if, in God’s providence, you are single for the time being you have the duty of singleness until God brings you that special someone. So, what are the common struggles or pitfalls of singleness? Well, the Biblical worldview basically breaks the struggles of singleness into two general, over-arching categories. Which one are you?

Idolatry of Independence:
The idol of independence works a little like this: I like my freedom. My independence is very important to me. I can do what I want, when I want, and how I want. I free to spend my money as I choose. I free to go where I want to go; and have relationships with who I want to have relationships with. I like my freedom. A relationship would only bog me down and take these freedoms away from me. Plus, they convince themselves, I don’t really need a relationship…I fine on my own.

Idolatry of Dependence:
The idol of dependence works a little like this: I have to get married. If I don’t I will be absolutely miserable. In fact, I’m miserable right now. I’m lonely. All I want is to be in a wonderful relationship and spend the rest of my life with that special someone. The single suffering from the idol of dependence usually throws in ….and I want a family. I won’t be happy until I’m married with children. That’s when I will have everything I ever wanted.

Sexually Immortality (sex outside of marriage) is what fuels both of these idolatries. How so? For the independent person, sex gives them what they want with the opposite sex without the oppressive commitment. (So they think.) For the dependent person, sex gives them a taste of their fantasy and the only way they can feel connected and close with someone is to have sex. (FYI – the independent single is typically male and the dependent single is typically female and it is amazing how often the two opposites hook up! Abstaining from sex outside of marriage protects you from so much heart-ache and regret during your single years.)

Making Marriage Unimportant and Ultimate:
There’s also another problem with these two pitfalls. The dependent single makes marriage into something it isn’t. It makes marriage the ultimate relationship, instead of penultimate. This, of course is idolatry. We were made for God, all other relationships are to stem from our union/relationship with him.

The independent single deemphasizes marriage. I think this is a major problem in our culture. Present day statistics inform us that many Americans are marrying later and later in life. Their sexual peak has already past and couples in their thirties have a harder time getting pregnant and starting their families. It seems to me, in principle at least, that this is not the way it is supposed to be! The natural inclinations of our bodies point to younger marriages. But the many of today’s young adults prefer, mostly for selfish, sensual, and materialistic purposes, to postpone marriage and reside within the “independent single” category. I do not believe Christians ought to participate in this mindset & lifestyle.

Furthermore, I believe the framework of the Bible would suggest, and possibly encourage, younger marriages. There is no biblical category for the “waiting for marriage because I’m enjoying my new freedoms as a young adult” type of person. The categories the Bible speaks of are…

• children (Eph. 6:1-4)
• those engaged waiting to be married (1 Cor. 7)
• those burning with passion needing to be married (1 Cor. 7)
• those who are married (Eph. 5:22-33)
• those who have been married and are now content to remain unmarried (1 Cor. 7)
• and those who have the gift of celibacy (1 Cor. 7)

I think young adults ought to honor marriage and if you are not called to a celibate life you ought to want to get married. Genesis 2:24 says, “A man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife…” When a child is old enough to leave the security of his mother and father and take care of himself (in modern terms – a young adult), he is to leave them, I believe, with the purpose and goal of getting married.

Of course this view is not an explicitly taught principle in the Scriptures; but I do think it an implicitly taught principle in the Scriptures. It seems to me that this is God’s way. And, may I add, this is an incredibly joyful and satisfying way! Young adults ought to honor God and pursue his way, not the way of our “independent single” culture.

So, my advice to young adults is…Don’t buy into the secular idea of needing to wait a long time before you get married. I believe this unnatural, unbiblical, and a breeding ground for sexual sin. We say “true love waits” but how long is it supposed to wait? Let’s be careful not to model our romantic relationships after our culture; instead, let’s use the Scriptures as our guide to “whos”, as well as, the “whens” of our romantic relationships!

To learn more about the case for this perspective, listen to a panel discussion between Mark Dever, Joshua Harris, & Al Mohler:

Biblical Dating - Mark Dever, Joshua Harris, Al Mohler